“Everybody wants to be Miss Universe,” says Donald Trump

Ms Trump with Miss Teen USA and the lady who is currently on the
pedestal as Miss Universe but who Ms Trump wants to knock off. 

In the course of his latest From the Desk of Donald Trump video, the king of hairstyling claims, without quoting any evidence for his assertion, that “everybody wants to be Miss Universe.” Everybody? Really!
     It is rude to question a generalization about a category in which the speaker is obviously included (Mr Trump is a person, therefore a member of the category “everybody”), so we must assume that he plans to enter the competition himself. It must have caught up with the times by going cross-gender (not to say trans-ageist) while I was not looking.
     Till recently, these contests had the reputation of being refuges for bimbos who were note too well furnished in the upper storey. I read recently that Miss Teen USA (pictured) was not able to locate Canada on a map. But Ms Trump is hardly in that category. He not only knows where Canada is, but can locate the side of his bread on which the butter is spread.
     Ms Trump should not be confused with Mrs Trump, the tall Czech who cashed the big cheque when she divorced the then Mr Trump for a rumoured $50 million in 1997. She may not have been everyone’s pet intellectual, but she did come seventh in Celebrity Big Brother in 2010 while, though big and undoubtedly a celebrity, not in fact being anyone’s brother. Perhaps trans-genderism runs in the family.
     Have readers any thoughts about important Russian men who might “want to be Miss Universe”, and why? A free invite to the next Glenfiddich tasting for the person who sends in the wittiest suggestion that I can print.